This post is apart of the blog series 21 Lessons in 21 Days
Lesson Twenty One: Its okay to be single
I don’t know if it’s the nurturer nature in me, or the fact that I didn’t have my father in my life growing up that has made me really crave attention from the opposite sex, but ever since I was really young I’ve always wanted a male by my side. I had my first boyfriend in second grade, and it seems like from then on I continued to have one up until this year. I like long-lasting, deep friendship types of relationships. I love taking care of people and making them feel like the most special and cared for person in the world. I love the idea of bonding with and growing with one person for a long time. Somehow, though, the relationships I’m in always end up in a disaster. Anything from being cheated on, physically/emotionally hurt or just a random break up has occurred and left me feeling lower than the ground. I realized that I would place my identity in these people and once our relationship was over, it began to feel like my life was too. So I found myself jumping from relationship to relationship for a long long time.
In May I made a promise to God that I would take this most recent break up as a much needed break from relationships. Though it feels almost unnatural for me, I’m learning that it’s okay to be single. Singleness serves as a time to learn more about self and all the hidden beauties that are almost impossible to see when another person is constantly involved. It’s a time to focus on self without any distractions. It’s an opportunity to try new things without being held back, and a chance to get to know God on a deeper, more personal level. It’s scary, because I’m used to the total opposite, but in these four months I’ve already learned so much about myself and my self esteem is on the rise. My identity is being broken apart from other people and growing more into who God has called me to be. I’m exploring passions and falling more in love with who I truly am deep down.
As of now I don’t know how long I’ll be in this state of singleness but Ive become content within it. I don’t know what the future holds for my future love, but I’m learning what I want that to look like when the time does come. I don’t know what other amazing things I’ll get to learn about myself, but I’m excited to continue this journey of the unknown because I trust in the one who is leading it.